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English to German French to German German (monolingual)
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Source text - English When my wife told me she was pregnant, I got that stomach-churning sensation that hits you on a plunging roller coaster. I was excited, yes, but... oh my God. Parenting was for, well, parents.
So here I stand, bug-eyed and sweating buckets like some poorly-drawn cartoon character, the question marks floating in the air around my head while I try to prepare myself for the complete care and responsibility of another living being besides my cat. I'm responsible for making sure this little human doesn't grow up and turn into a complete monster. If the child turns out a social moron-- my fault. If the babe can't find Luxembourg on the map, blame me for not providing a better education. They'll need therapy, and of course that will be on my head too. So many opportunities for wrong turns!
I remember the day my father sat me down and awkwardly told me about the birds and the bees; it was perhaps the most excruciating and embarrassing half hour of both our lives. I can't do that to another human being.
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. I can do this, I say; I'll be a great father. My child will be reared a well-rounded, educated, upstanding citizen of the world, and he or she won't hate me.
And then I imagine the baby, still safe within the confines of my wife's belly, suddenly opening an alarmed eye as the thought enters his or her mind: "What if my dad just can't hack it?
Translation - German Als meine Frau mir sagte, dass sie schwanger sei, rebellierte mein Magen. Es war das gleiche Gefühl, das man hat, wenn es bei einer Achterbahnfahrt steil nach unten geht. Klar war ich aufgeregt, aber... Oh Gott! Elternsein...das ist doch was für, naja, Eltern eben.
Und hier stehe ich nun, mit großen Augen und schwitze eimerweise, genau wie eine schlecht gezeichnete Comic-Figur. Fragezeichen schwirren über meinem Kopf, während ich versuche, mich darauf vorzubereiten, für ein anderes Lebewesen als meine Katze da zu sein und Verantwortung zu übernehmen. Ich werde verantwortlich dafür sein, dass dieser kleine Mensch sich nicht in ein Monster verwandelt. Wenn dieses Kind ein asozialer Idiot wird, ist das meine Schuld! Wenn der Kleine nicht weiß, wo Luxemburg liegt, liegt das nur daran, dass ich ihm keine bessere Bildung mitgegeben habe. Kinder gehen in Therapie, und daran bin natürlich auch ich Schuld. Es gibt so viel falsch zu machen!
Ich kann mich noch genau an den Tag erinnern, an dem mein Vater sich zu mir setzte und mir von den Bienchen und Blümchen erzählte. Das war wahrscheinlich für uns beide die peinlichste und schrecklichste halbe Stunde unseres Lebens. So etwas kann ich doch keinem anderen Menschen antun!
Vielleicht bin ich aber auch ein wenig zu voreilig. Ich schaffe das! Ich rede mir gut zu: Ich werde ein großartiger Vater! Mein Kind wird als gut ernährter, gebildeter und aufrechter Bürger durch diese Welt gehen und er oder sie wird mich nicht hassen.
Und dann denke ich an das Baby, sicher eingekuschelt im Bauch meiner Frau, wie es die Augen öffnet, erschreckt von dem Gedanken: Was, wenn mein Alter das nicht hinkriegt?
English to German (University of Applied Sciences, Cologne, Germany, verified) French to German (University of Applied Sciences, Cologne, Germany, verified)
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Bio
My name is Leena vom Hofe, I have been a professional translator and copywriter for almost 20 years.
I have been offering translation and copywriting services in various fields, specialising in Marketing, Advertisement, Website Translation, Software, e-Commerce, Market Research.
I believe your text - which in fact is a text written for YOUR customers - needs to fit your target groups. That's why I trained in Marketing in the last years and also got a qualification in SEO. I know a lot about personas and market research and want to help you find the right tonality for the people you want to reach.
I am a passionate translator and lover of my mother tongue and translate from English and French into German. Using the latest technology I offer high quality texts and reasonable prices.
Expertise 