| Pages in topic: < [1 2] | Wedding advice Thread poster: Rachel Gorney (X)
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Shane Wall 
Vietnam
Local time: 05:54
Vietnamese to English
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| It will work out on the day ... | Jan 29, 2008 |
... IF each family and the non-family guests are made aware of the situation well in advance.
My wife & I got married in her hamlet in rural Tay Ninh province in Vietnam. My wife and I were the ONLY VI-EN speakers present - with 300+ guests!!!
We 'warned' everybody in advance that in order NOT to have the event 'split' along linguistic lines, all guests would be required to mingle with those who did not share the same language.
I wrote a small "cheat sheet"... See more ... IF each family and the non-family guests are made aware of the situation well in advance.
My wife & I got married in her hamlet in rural Tay Ninh province in Vietnam. My wife and I were the ONLY VI-EN speakers present - with 300+ guests!!!
We 'warned' everybody in advance that in order NOT to have the event 'split' along linguistic lines, all guests would be required to mingle with those who did not share the same language.
I wrote a small "cheat sheet" of useful terms and phrases in both languages, and my Grandmother-in-law "press-ganged" all the Vietnamese kids with a little bit of English (from school) as the interpreters.
The cheat sheet worked wonders, with both sides attempting to get their pronunciation correct or explaining their language - as best they could.
Initially I was worried about having the kids as the interpreters. As it turned out they loved the opportunity to communicate with native English speakers (and so did their parents!) and became the language "teachers" for the members of both parties!
The ceremony was an entirely different "kettle of fish". I had absolutely no idea of the protocols and practices. I would make "Mr. Bean Takes a Bride" look like a serious documentary ... and we have the video to prove it!
Best wishes, and I am sure it will turn out well and be the memorable occasion of your life!
Shane
www.translingualexpress.com ▲ Collapse
| | | | Buzzy
Local time: 23:54
French to English
| My top tip from Franco-British personal experience | Jan 29, 2008 |
If anyone seems to be unhappy about any of your plans, just tell them, whether or not it's true: Well, it's a French/American tradition! or alternatively: No, they don't do that at French/American weddings!
This means you can slip in/get rid of all sorts of rituals etc without the sort of friend (or more probably relative) who gets very uptight about observing traditions being able to stick their oar in. It certainly helped us keep one or two people off our backs!
The two of us also ... See more If anyone seems to be unhappy about any of your plans, just tell them, whether or not it's true: Well, it's a French/American tradition! or alternatively: No, they don't do that at French/American weddings!
This means you can slip in/get rid of all sorts of rituals etc without the sort of friend (or more probably relative) who gets very uptight about observing traditions being able to stick their oar in. It certainly helped us keep one or two people off our backs!
The two of us also argued quite a lot about what we wanted to do/not do for both the ceremony and the reception, given our own assumptions about what weddings involved, and this led us to the conclusion that a bi-cultural couple that survived the wedding preparations had a pretty good chance of surviving marriage... We certainly learned that we can have a tendency to see our own traditions as inherently objectively "better", not always recognising that we're simply more attached to them...
Another thing I just remembered is that the vows seemed very short and lacking in substance to me - saying just "Oui" instead of all the British vows, for better or worse, richer and poorer and all that, didn't seem enough to me. I suppose you grow up with an idea of what you will say when or if you get married and it's hard to shake off that conditioning! We included both in the church ceremony.
Pour la petite histoire, we were married in France, and at the civil wedding, there were only a few members of the French family but all the English side, who wanted to see what a Mairie wedding was like. There was no interpreter, but they all sat there patiently while the Maire Adjoint read through the identites, articles of law, etc. Then it was time to say "Oui" - and when we said it all the Brits fell around laughing, although we had no idea why! When we asked them afterwards, they said "It was the first word we'd understood!" Some cunning seating plans (that was a headache too) got them communicating in franglais later!
Congratulations anyway and enjoy it all... ▲ Collapse
| | | | | All good advice... | Jan 30, 2008 |
I can give you advice from my two weddings (both to the same man! A small civil ceremony in Guatemala and a large church wedding in the US) that involved Guatemalan and American guests and only a handful of bilinguals, as well as my experiences at friends' weddings (Mexican/Vietnamese, American/Italian, American Jewish/Indian Hindu...).
The first bit of advice has been mentioned several times before-- try to make the ceremony as bilingual as possible and give a program so everyone c... See more I can give you advice from my two weddings (both to the same man! A small civil ceremony in Guatemala and a large church wedding in the US) that involved Guatemalan and American guests and only a handful of bilinguals, as well as my experiences at friends' weddings (Mexican/Vietnamese, American/Italian, American Jewish/Indian Hindu...).
The first bit of advice has been mentioned several times before-- try to make the ceremony as bilingual as possible and give a program so everyone can follow along with the sections in both languages. At our wedding in the US the priest said the vows in English and we repeated them in Spanish and we had readings in both English and Spanish.
Also, someone should interpret any important speeches/toasts so the other half doesn't feel left out. I agree heartily with the person who said that if you/your spouse are the only bilingual people present to hire an interpreter for these "important" bits, because you really don't want to be pressed into service on your own wedding day! But bilingual friends (if available) are usually happy to help.
Definitely make CDs for the DJ and make sure that they are open to playing different types of music. At our wedding the DJ was reluctant to play anything in Spanish and it drove us crazy-- we wouldn't hire him if we were to do it again!
Also, alcohol definitely helps everyone communicate better Though the effectiveness depends somewhat on the families and cultures involved and how drunk they actually get! Of the friends' weddings I mentioned above, the biggest cultural divide was definitely the Mexican/Vietnamese ceremony-- most of the reserved Vietnamese side left quickly and did not seem to take to the outgoing Mexican side.
All in all, though, people tend to be on their best behavior for weddings and I'm sure it will be fun for all involved! Congratulations!
~Shannon ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Transnational weddings... | May 6, 2008 |
A real common language and similar cultural habits in the marriage is on the long term what counts.....
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jalana
Local time: 00:54
English
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| Similar situation | May 14, 2008 |
Rachel i am going to marry to in Frane and my future husband is French i am Bulgarian. I understand completely what u are talking about. I have the same problems. There nobody speak english is alfew my family will go there and they not speak even english. There is no particulary solution i just hope everything to ve fine, i will try to translate and to communicate between my guest and those who doesnt speak french or english. I think this one who will be in the same table should speak one langua... See more Rachel i am going to marry to in Frane and my future husband is French i am Bulgarian. I understand completely what u are talking about. I have the same problems. There nobody speak english is alfew my family will go there and they not speak even english. There is no particulary solution i just hope everything to ve fine, i will try to translate and to communicate between my guest and those who doesnt speak french or english. I think this one who will be in the same table should speak one language, so maybe it will helps little.
Wish u all best ▲ Collapse
| | | | Rachel Gorney (X)
France
Local time: 23:54
French to English
TOPIC STARTER
Many thanks to all of you for sharing your personal experiences and offering advice!
In fact, we won't be having a religious ceremony at all, so that will make things easier in terms of negotiating the two languages. I agree that wine and champagne go a long way in breaking down barriers of all kinds! And I will definitely take the often-repeated advice to enjoy the day and have fun myself and not worry too much about the language issues.
I’ll strategically place bi... See more Many thanks to all of you for sharing your personal experiences and offering advice!
In fact, we won't be having a religious ceremony at all, so that will make things easier in terms of negotiating the two languages. I agree that wine and champagne go a long way in breaking down barriers of all kinds! And I will definitely take the often-repeated advice to enjoy the day and have fun myself and not worry too much about the language issues.
I’ll strategically place bilingual guests at tables, play music from both cultures, and try to offer translations for any speeches, poetry read, etc. But other than that, I have growing confidence that the language barrier won’t be too much of a problem, and in fact will hopefully be the opposite – something that enriches the experience for everyone.
-R ▲ Collapse
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