I can't see anything wrong with it as it stands except that gray should be spelt grey for a colour (gray is the spelling of the surname), IMO. In fact the slightly broken style tends to suit the hesitant approach of the magician.

I also strongly disagree with people who start talking about "correct" English where it has to do with style. There is no such thing as "correct style".
Find your own style and if it works, stick to it.

You could take almost any sentence you like from modern English literature, post it here and watch how many people will start crawling all over in an attempt to exhibit their academic superiority.

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Note added at 5 hrs 18 mins (2004-12-23 12:03:29 GMT)
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Please also remember that a native English reader will not read your sentence/book word by word as a non-native might, they will scan it almost subconsciously and \"absorb\" it. Any mistakes or incongruity of grammar/style will interrupt this scanning process and raise a questiong eyebrow....mistake here! Whereas a non-native, when confronted with extremes of style, MAY try to align the text to the \"model\" they have thus far learned and may assume the text to be \"badly\" or \"wrongly\" written if it doesn\'t fit this model.

I have no problem with the structure of the second part, or of the spelling of 'gray' or 'grey'. The question in my mind is -why- the traveler did not take the direct path to the king and had to step on all those particular flagstones. I think that should be explained either in the first part of the sentence, or in the sentence before (which perhaps it is, but, we don't see that in the example). Otherwise, it's fine.

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Note added at 11 hrs 35 mins (2004-12-23 18:20:31 GMT)
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In response to your further inquiry, since your audience is American, then \'gray\' is perfectly acceptable as color. \'grey\' is simply not one of the American Crayola crayon colors. This from their website:

\"Crayola® Crayons - 12 Large - Refill (Gray)

Box contains 12 Gray crayons. Use these to replenish your supply of popular colors!

Recommended for Kids: Under 5\"

It\'s what Americans grow up with. Using \'grey\' as a color in the context of a children\'s story would have American kids scratching their heads.

HTH!

-JAG

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Note added at 11 hrs 38 mins (2004-12-23 18:23:33 GMT)
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BTW: Crayola\'s website page where I got the reference

http://www.crayola.com/canwehelp/result.cfm

Scroll down through the colors...

The Traveler didn't walk directly up to the King. Instead, he stepped one by one on six gray flagstones, then edged his way along the wall, stepping only on six blue ones. Finally, he followed six black flagstones toward the center of the hall.

Hello! I just split it up a bit, made a couple of very minor style changes, and changed the spelling of "towards" - US spelling is "toward" - to match the rest.

Good luck!

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Note added at 11 hrs 17 mins (2004-12-23 18:02:06 GMT)
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By the way - it already sounds a damn sight better than some of the stuff I get to proofread, so please don\'t worry about it not being \"correct\" style! I think it\'s pretty much fine the way it is ;-)

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Note added at 12 hrs 33 mins (2004-12-23 19:17:46 GMT)
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By the way - it already sounds a damn sight better than some of the stuff I get to proofread, so please don\'t worry about it not being \"correct\" style! I think it\'s pretty much fine the way it is ;-)

It's truly fine. The use of "then.....and then" is great. Stop start - builds up a little tension etc. Just backing up Gareth's comment, really.

One minor point, and it may be irrelevant because of what comes before it (e.g. a description of the floor). Or it may just be me. But I had to read it twice to realise that the gray flagstones were heading towards the wall.
Otherwise, it's fine, really.

one by one; then he edged along the six blue stones that bordered the wall; and finally, he walked (carefully) across six black stones toward the center of the hall.

"toward" for English American-style
three different verbs if you want variety